The Conjuring (2013): A Macabre Review.

Starring Patrick Wilson, Vera Farmiga, Lily Taylor

Directed by James Wan

Well hello there.  I just finished watching The Conjuring a little while ago, and am here to give my thoughts on it.  I wasn't really sure what to expect from this, as I've been reluctant to trust trailers after the disasters that were The Apparition and Chernobyl Diaries.  But the word on this movie was good, so I thought I'd see for myself.

So this is based on a true case investigated by famous paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren, who have looked into countless supernatural cases over a span of four decades.  The movies The Amityville Horror and The Haunting In Connecticut were two other examples of cases that were investigated by the Warrens.  Unlike those two movies however, The Conjuring actually has the Warrens as main characters who eventually get involved with the Perron family.  But I think that'll do for the back story for now, let's talk about the movie itself.

The movie begins with another case that was investigated by Ed and Lorraine.  In fact, it's one of their more popular cases revolving around a Raggedy Ann doll that was being used as an anchor for a demon to linger around a couple of nursing students, who thought it was actually the spirit of a little girl.  This sort of annoyed me a little for only one reason: it was decided that the doll used in the movie was an incredibly evil-looking doll that no one in their right mind would ever give their child.  So yes, I'm already nitpicking.  Otherwise the story was told briefly but was pretty accurate to the real story that I read so long ago.

The actual Annabelle doll that caused so much trouble for the nursing students.

We then move on to the Perron family, who have moved in to their new home that they were lucky enough to acquire in an auction.  The parents Carolyn and Roger are excited for the life change, as well as their five daughters.  Well, four of the five anyway.  Stereotypical angry teenager Andrea isn't too enthusiastic about it, but luckily she's not very annoying like the others you see in similar horror movies.  For the first little while everyone's happy, and life goes on.  But as you can guess, slowly but surely strange things begin to happen.  Small things at first: a door creaking open by itself, odd knockings when no one is there to make them.  Like in so many haunted house movies though, things go from bad to worse when actual physical contact happens.

Meanwhile, Ed and Lorraine Warren are busy with their own lives, giving lectures about the paranormal to whoever wants to listen and their usual house calls with potential hauntings.  After the Perron's situation evolves to physical attacks and property damage, Carolyn attends one of the Warren lectures and afterwards pleads with them to see for themselves what's been happening.  After a brief visit, Ed and Lorraine agree to help them.  They discover that what's in the house is incredibly dangerous, and it soon becomes a life and death situation for just about everybody involved.

"As a matter of fact, I DO smell feet."

Ok, I'm admittedly skipping over quite a bit of the movie, and just giving you the bare bones of what's going on.  Why am i doing that, you might ask?  Because this movie is FRIGGIN' AWESOME, and you need to go see it for yourselves and get the full details.  It's got just about everything I want in a horror flick.  Great acting from pretty much everyone involved, even the kids.  The characters are very genuine and likeable.  Even the angry Andrea I mentioned cuts her shit out and becomes much more tolerable fairly early into the movie.  There was very little CGI used in this as well.  Everything was pretty much practical effects, except maybe for a couple of things where it was used for enhancements.

The scary aspect was done brilliantly.  It does everything just the way I like it.  Mostly the things that happened were just flat-out creepy or terrifying,  and not done by way of jump scares or loud and annoying music stings.  While some of said things weren't that original, they were delivered very effectively, to the point that later in the movie when all hell breaks loose (pardon the pun), I actually found myself sitting up in my seat just completely dialed in.

"Hey, there's no candy in here!!"

Even the camerawork, which you may notice I complain about A LOT in modern movies, seemed (for the most part) like it was shot by people who actually knew how to use a camera.  I'm unnecessarily pleased by this, but I don't want to go on another rant about camerawork today.  Needless to say, I actually saw everything I wanted to, nothing was a blur of movement.

Are you still reading this?  Go and watch this movie.  Go now!!!  This has been one of my best horror experiences in the last, I don't know how long really.  It even topped the Evil Dead remake in terms of theater experience.  That's right, I said it.  And after you watch The Conjuring, read up on Ed and Lorraine Warren.  The stories of their investigations are quite fascinating.  That's all I got.  Rest in peace everyone..

Macabre Rating: 4.5 out of 5 tombstones.